Bu-lol-mia

Hmmm I seem to be having a bit of a problem...it appears that my binge and vom tactic is coming back. It's so annoying because I've been so fucking good otherwise, probably eating around 300 calories a day, but it's when one of my parents takes me out for dinner that I lose all control, which has happened three times in the last 2 weeks. I think they're worried about how little I've been eating, and they can see a noticeable difference in my weight, so when they take me out and I mention that I fancy something shitty, por ejemplo chocolate, they'll literally keep encouraging me to order it till I'm eating that shit uppp. Then once I've been bad I think fuck it, might as well go all out. So I do, then I vom. And in public too! This is a new low for me..They're really fucking nice restaurants too and I'm just puking in their toilets like a spastic. Nice. 

I'm in Singapore now and my dad took me to this really nice tapas restaurant, and it started off really well, splitting grilled squid, red peppers and prawns...then BOOM! Suddenly I'm eating a few fried potatoes. Then I'm sick. Then we go to this rooftop bar and I'm eating the nuts, then we split a chocolate fondant and truffle fries (fucking amazing might I add). Then I'm sick. Then I get a hot chocolate (which I never usually fucking drink), and have a couple chocolates and a macaroon then go home. And then I'm sick. Then I have THREE GODDAMN BROWNIES, and then I vom like I've never vommed before. It was fucking disgusting. And I never even felt full once.

What's so frustrating is that I can go from eating 300 calories a day and feeling fine, even having about 150 yesterday and feeling normal, to this manic binge. Like an untamed beast, but not even a sexy untamed beast. Ah well I'm really going to try and stop now, just go back to limiting my calories. I'm staying in this fly hotel tomorrow with my mate, and we're gonna hit the gym in a big way and use the pool, getting our tan on and shit. We were then going to go to this new club that just opened because we get free entrance and get to skip the queue! But I'm scared to drink. Pretty sure that's the only time I lose control with food, tonight being a classic example of this - fucking sangria. So might have to sacrifice going out for the sake of my bod.

At least I'm losing weight (now 117.5lbs - you can look at my weight goals page), and the tan is progressing swimmingly from Dubai and Singapore. Just need to sort my life out!

The diet commences...again...

So I've decided to start blogging, mostly about my diet and weight loss and such, but also about my general life. Not that I fancy myself more exciting than other people, but my friends and I get up to some pretty funny shit.


I'm 20 years old and am living in London. I go out a lot and go on holiday a lot (my parents live abroad) - it's pretty saweet! I'm about 5ft2 and started dieting 5 weeks ago, weighing 9st9 pounds (135 pounds), which is just too much I would say. My goal weight is around 105 pounds, but I would love to be just under 100 pounds, as I think it would be awesome to have a weight in double digits. So after 4 weeks of intense dieting I weighed 8st11 pounds (123 pounds). HOWEVER, i have failed terribly for the last week, and have yet to weigh myself. So I will eat like a saint today and weigh myself tomorrow.


I don't know how I can go from having so much control over what I'm eating, and being okay and even happy if I'm feeling hungry, to literally eating whatever the fuck is in my sight. I thiiiiink I have a slight binge problem, (I also have a tendency towards bulimia). But during my 4 weeks of dieting, I wasn't sick once, then yesterday, BOOM, I was, so I realised I need to start eating healthily again so I don't fall back into that fucking stupid pattern!


Also I'm going to France with my friends soon and I want to whip out the shorts in a big way! But alas, my thighs forbid it. I think I'm going to hit fruit and vegetables until I go. Okay I'm going for a 2 hour walk to the sea to meet my sister because it's sunny and fantastic outside. 


Until tomorrow!