Thursday 24 May 2012

20 pounds down! Yeah buddy.

I've lost 20 pounds since I started the diet in February! I'm pissed off about my slip ups, like in France, because I could've lost so much more by now :( But I'm still happy - 115 pounds this morning! I can feel so many new bones and I have somewhat of a thigh gap, it's all very exciting.


Food diary for yesterday...


-20 blueberries (20cal)
-2 almonds (14cal)
-2 olives (30cal)
-Tiny bit of arabic bread with tomato sauce (50cal)
-Mushrooms, courgette and tomato (max 70cal)
=184 calories = winning!


It's strange how eating so few calories affects you. I actually rarely feel hungry, except for briefly when I wake up, then it passes. I just feel weird as fuck and like I want something all the time, but I'm not sure what it is. I mean I'm guessing it must be food, but it's hard to make that connection when you're not feeling hungry. Most peculiar! Actually, there's a chance it could be cigarettes...mmm cigs, only 10 more days till you will be mine.


Butttttt we're going out for dinner tonight and I'm so scared I'm going to eat. And it will be pretty obvious if I go to vom in a fancy restaurant. And pretty fucking disrespectful to whoever cleans it and the others using it...I'm looking forward to getting all dressed up and shit, especially now I'm my lowest weight, but I can just see me getting to the restaurant and deciding to 'go easy on myself'. Which is bullshit because I don't deserve this yet. Especially considering I still want to lose around 3 pounds till the boat, which is in a week.


What a conflict of interests!

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